Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Final Half of Third Year

Approaching 3 years having long term residence sticker on my passport page.
It truly has been quite a journey.
A massive period of transition in my life and I'm preparing to enrich the stay even more, ameen.
I haven't been truly enjoying the 4 seasons we have here, so what about having countless of stroll in crisp autumn and then, I am yet to engage in a full blast snow war and am yet to erect a massive snowman and land on the fresh snow and whip up snow angel.
Yes, I had 3 winters already but haven't really done the cliche stuffs.
Because the only time I am really studying, it was always the best weather outside.
And by the time I am done with books and stationeries, the snow has been stained with dog pee or it has really turn into the unsightly scene.
Actually, if you really want the real best deal, to the country you shall go.
It's always the best in all 4 seasons.

Anyway, despite having a non stop study marathon with breaks on the bed in between, I have managed to go to supermarket and farmer's market.
Spring has been really nice weather wise but I couldn't help but to notice that I am waiting for the cherries to come out for quite some time.
The fruits unfortunately has not infested the supermarkets or stalls this spring, at least that's what I observe.
Wonder what's happening.

And then, here comes the summer, wet, just like what I have been wishing all this while.
It's a pain to be poached in a room with books a month long (or more!) when people are out under the summer sun.
I am so happpieeee!!!!
Let it rain, let it rain!
And on another note, school captain class of 2006 is getting married.
For the information, that makes 2 out of 123 of us got hitched already and both are boys.
Frankly, it is quite a pressure.
Getting married in near future is not written in my organizer.
But what a girl gotta do when the boys who aced 5 years of high school with her (literally typing) were 1st in line and when her own mother got married at the same age she is at now?
Take a deep breath, I gotta absorb this pressure really well.
Everything is alright because people has different plans and move at different wavelengths.
Moreover, wasn't it me who always have the cravings for nasi kenduri since I set foot on Bohemian land, so it's time to accept the invitation.
I'm off to finish things first before we face the pressure(s)

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Mine and Yours

To posses something particularly money and valuable material is a pleasure.
Who doesn't love it?
As a kid, I don't care much about money.
If my dad give me RM1, I'll spend all RM1.
My coconut bank was the lightest, and it seems that the trait has been passed down to the youngest brother. =p
Anyway, I became a bit more greedy in high school.
Every penny is priceless and I even did odd jobs like cleaning others locker and selling out kuih cakar ayam for extra income.
When I earn my own money (read : working holiday, scholarship), I threw caution to the wind and buy what I need and want.
I have lost a few coins or notes here and there, be it the vending machine, the mobile prepaid or anything in between.
I don't remember cursing under my breath, but I'm sure I did a couple of times when I lost something.
Or maybe some tinge of dissappointment when my things got damaged etc.
I've been pretty cool in giving in to certain sort of something.
But then, my zakat is paid my father ~ the perk of being a woman in Islam.
I just lack in this department ~ of giving some monetary contribution to anything, or anyone.
It's is an understatement alright but I just don't do it that often you see.
When I have all the will to seek for that extra something for me to call mine, I don't even have the intention to seek for debiting.

Imagine this
When you lost a bag of worthy laptop ~ OMG!!! Damn it all my things are in there, my iPod, my android my this my that!
When you are pickpocketed and lost all the cash and cards ~ 900 was in there and now it's gone poof!
When someone ask for your help, be it monetary or material or simply a service from your end ~ she deserved it/I'm sorry I couldn't (because I don't want to)
Or even when you see someone who is in need

You know what?
Maybe me and you should give in to those.
Don't be too dissolved in losing cashes and valuables.
Never hesitate to lend or give away something.
For each and everytime the above situations or something similar to the above situation occur, it's the time Allah is rewarding you a way for you to purify your asset.
We are too immersed in accumulating valueables, we are too sad and worried when we were cheated off our money but we often forget to share some of our blessing to others.
When you part with your valuable, something that need to be cleared from your possession has been cleared and that is one of a way He help you to purify your possession.

hampir semua orang mahukan syurga, ramai yang mengejarnya tapi sedikit sahaja yang ada kesedaran untuk memutuskan diri dari rantai dunia, yang salah satunya adalah harta.
Yang pasti, harta itu pun bukan kita yang punya.

It's like you are doing flying fox. You keep only the essentials and left the backpack so that you can fly it smoothly.
p/s : ayat kesukaan saya dari drama Syurgamu Ramadhan
Kadang-kadang kita terlupa apa sahaja yang diagungkan hanya sesuatu yang dipinjamkan Allah semata-mata. Disangka itu hak milik mutlak.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Abah

Ini cerita tentang abah saya.
Gambar pertama yang ada saya dan abah saya (walaupun bahagian abah saya yang ada dalam gambar tu hanyalah tangan dia) ialah gambaq semasa saya masih bayi.
Gambar tu, satu tangan abah saya sokong celah kaki saya satu tangan lagi nampak macam tengah mencengkam dada saya.
Tapi muka saya tak macam orang sesak nafas pun, dengan mata ceme, bibir sedikit terbuka, riak wajah yang mulus dan tulus berbaju merah jambu pudar.
Mata ceme tu apa?
Mata ceme (bacaan e macam cerek) ialah mata sepet yang kuyu.


Semasa darjah satu, cikgu Bahasa Melayu saya menyuruh semua orang membawa satu pantun ke sekolah.
Saya sangat gembira sebab pantun saya lain dari yang lain.
Orang lain punya pantun banyak ada ayat ular dalam mangkuk?
Nak tahu apa pantun saya?
Saya ada dua pantun, tapi saya ingat satu sahaja dari dua pantun itu, pantun yang abah saya beri

Limau purut tiga serangkai,
Buta perut tiada akai.

Bunyi macam pelik, tapi tak apalah, asalkan tiada ular dalam mangkuk mahupun periuk.
Sebagai balasannya, semasa ibu bapa saya dipanggil ke sekolah kerana masalah disiplin saya, abah saya perlu pergi.
Terima kasih abah sebab pergi.

Ok, setelah dicepatkan cerita, makanya saya sudah pun bersekolah menengah.
Pada suatu cuti sekolah, abah saya seperti biasa bawa saya meronda pulau kecuali di bahagian timur.
Kami ke Penang Road dan maaf, saya tak ingat kami makan cendol atau hanya minum air lengkong/cincau.
Yang pastinya, saya tidak membuka topi keledar dan saya turun dari motosikal abah saya.
Kemudian setelah selesai mendinginkan tekak, kami bersedia untuk bergerak.
Tetapi...
sedang saya menghayunkan kaki untuk duduk di atas motosikal, abah saya telah pun membawa motosikal.
Maknanya apa?
Maknanya abah saya tidak perasan yang saya belum naik dan membawa motosikal itu dengan lajunya mara ke destinasi seterusnya.
Saya terpinga-pinga sebentar.
Tak sempat dah nak memikirkan alamak, ada orang perasan ka insiden ni (Penang road terkenal banyak orang. ianya kawasan pelancong)
Dan pada masa itu, kami berdua, saya dan abah saya masih belum menggunakan telefon bimbit.
Dan saya memang hanya ada diri saya, pakaian yang dipakai dan helmet saja.
Takkan nak minta sedekah cik tolong sedekah saya lima kupang nak telefon rumah.
Kalau rumah saudara terdekat ialah rumah mak chaq kat Jelutong.
Kalau jalan kaki, agak-agak pukul sebelas malam baru sampai.
Tapi tak mengapa, balai polis daerah timur laut berdiri megah di depan saya.
Alkisahnya, dalam sepuluh ke lima belas minit kemudian abah saya kembali mendapatkan saya.
Lamakan?
Ada 2 inferens yang boleh dibuat.
Dia mengambil masa sebegitu lama untuk kembali mendapatkan saya kerana dia lambat menyedari saya tiada membonceng di belakangnya.
Inferens kedua, dia mengambil masa sebegitu lama untuk kembali mendapatkan saya kerana dia telah membawa motosikal dengan lajunya sampai ke mana-mana hala dan kemudian mencari saya di sepanjang perjalanan.
Apa-apa pun, teghima kasih abah sebab mai patah balik kutip cek yang abah terciciaq tepi gerai lengkong/cendoi.

Kemudian, sewaktu saya ke temuduga biasiswa Bank Negara Malaysia, abah saya yang mengiringi saya.
Dengan beg membeli belah berisi pakaian yang akan diapakai di temuduga dan bekal samosa yang mak saya buat, kami menaiki bas malam ke Kuala Lumpur.
Perlu diingatkan, saya pergi pada bulan April 2007.
Ya, saya tidak pernah ke Kuala Lumpur secara bertaruh seperti itu. (Lagipun saya pernah pergi KL dua kali sahaja sebelum tu. Abah saya pernah pergi kot, masa dia belum kahwin dulu)
Kami tidak tahu jalan dan pengangkutan di Kuala Lumpur.
Malah, pintu utama Bank Negara pun kami tidak tahu di mana.
Ok, mari jujur sedikit di sini.
Kami tiba di KL Sentral sebelum subuh, temuduga bermula pukul lapan pagi dan bilik mandi hanya akan dibuka ada pukul 7 pagi. Temuduga bermula rasanya pada 8pagi takpun 830 pagi.
Semestinya mandi terkeluar dari persoalan.
Nasib baik di surau ada pili dan saya ada membawa tuala.
Maka, saya bertukar nama dari Lina ke Grace pada hari itu (baca : tidak mandi satu hari adalah biasa bagi Mat Saleh)
Maka saya dan abah saya pun menjadi pengembara pada hari itu.
Navigasi yang bagus, terima kasih kepada info-info di sepanjang perjalanan, sama ada dari papan kenyataan, panggilan awal pagi ke rakan sekolah yang kembli pulang ke KL setelah 5 tahun di SOKSEK, serta mamak India jual surat khabar tepi stesen KMB mahupun mak cik jual kuih muih tepi jalan, kami tiba di hentian Bank Negara.
Kemudian, kami mengikut kata hati dan alhamdulillah, sampai juga ke tempat yang sepatutnya dan ya, kami tiba awal.
Sempat bersarapan di cafeteria Bank Negara lagi.
Seronok saya melihat rutin pagi di Bank Negara.
Paling mantap, hampir kesemua wanita yang tiba punya 2 beg tangan. Sangat berkerjaya ya.

Ada 7 orang kesemuanya yang menghadiri temuduga hari itu, dan saya satu-satunya yang mengusung tiga beg. Memang macam backpacker.
Yang saya risau ketika itu ialah abah saya. (kerisauan yang tidak perlu pun, sebab apa?)
Temuduga akan berlangsung dari pukul 8 pagi sehingga pukul 5 petang.
Maksud saya, takkan abah saya nak duduk di lobi itu seharian kan.
Ok, rehat makan tengah hari adalah panjang memandangkan itu hari Jumaat.
Entah kenapa setengah jam sebelum rehat saya gastrik yang sangat.
Selepas saya meminum air oren dan rakan yang lain makan tengah hari, saya ke lobi untuk mencari abah saya, yang TIADA di situ.
Kawan-kawan yang lain semuanya ke muzium duit. Oh, kecewa juga tak dapat ikut, tapi sakit sangat perut.
Sampai saya naik semula dengan Kah Mun dan Danial pun abah saya tidak ada.
Selesai temuduga yang sangat saya suka (saya suka semuanya ~ konsep temuduga, kenalan-kenalan temuduga dan kakak-kakak HR), saya akhirnya dapat menghubungi abah saya.
Dia sedang minum petang di kafeteria, dengan KAWAN BARU yang dia jumpa semasa smbahyang Jumaat.
Sebab tu la saya katakan, kerisauan yang tidak perlu pun.
Kami ke Pudu, makan KFC dan mengambil bas pulang ke Pulau Pinang malam itu juga.
Di dalam bas, saya ada satu rasa, rasa terima kasih tidak terhingga, sebab abah saya menemani saya.
Itu backpacking yang tidak akan pernah dilupakan sampai bila-bila.
Saya pergi dengan perasaan takut, tidak pasti apa yang saya akan hadapi.
Jujur, situasi ini selalu terjadi, takut, rasa keseorangan, lebih-lebih lagi dua tahun pertama di sekolah menengah dulu, tapi April itu saya pergi lebih stabil, sebab saya tahu, abah saya ada bersama dengan saya.

Abah, my endless gratification for giving me the chance to have a father up until now. I know friends who grew up not knowing a father. And I'm glad that I had mine and still having it.
Jasa abah tandatangan report kad dan segala jenis borang takkan dilupakan.

The Wedding

I was replaying the song "for the rest of my life" for a couple of times already before I decided that it has to stop or otherwise I couldn't concentrate on Robbins.

And then, the bell rang with knocks on the door.
They were mother and daughter living in the apartment in front of ours.
Well, indeed the mother is our landlady.
And guess what??
We got the first wedding invitation from the Czechs!
I have always wanted to mingle with the Czech but there's either not much opportunity or not much time.
And we got the so called Czech traditional wedding cakes in paper basket too.
Each of us got 1 basket.
It's yummy with powder sugar.
The wedding will take place in July the second.


And as I got back to Robbins, the bell rang once again.
Same faces popped in front of our door.
We forgot to tell you, the large cake..
I was thinking that it's restricted to us Muslim but it's not the case at all.
The largest wedding cake 2cmX2cm is supposed to be eaten under the table so that u can get married in the future.
Otherwise, enjoy celibacy!
I was LOL.
It sure is funny and just for fun, I will eat the largest one under the tabble.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Nostalgia

In the best of places and the best environment.
The outside was glowing red and orange.
All the doors and windows shut.
Nobody's outside, even the roosters are flapping their wings, managing a short flight up the sukun tree.
Inside the house, the noise came from mating lizards while all the family members huddling in front of the tv, waiting for Maghrib.
And then, waving through the somehow silent air, the azan, calling for prayer.
It was 18 years ago.

2011.
It's half past 9 in the evening.
The sky has just gotten dark.
There's emptiness outside.
There are no roosters, not even a soul except that of mine.
Deprieved of human companion but overflowed with papers containing knowledge.
And the azan, thanks to youtube, it's the same sound as 18 years ago, though it doesn't fill the air of the town, filling only this small space that I called a bedroom.

Growing up, I find myself yearning more for yesteryears, the early 90's.
Life gets harder, of course.
And, now I admitted it, I've been away for too long.
10 years ain't a short time.
But maybe, in 4 to 5 years, I'll be sitting in a comfort of a home surrounding by the family that I loved when it's dusk.
And once again, I can hear the azan went through the town.
Who knows.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

A Take On Psychology

I've successfully endure psychology class or psychology related classes for quite a number of times.
First it was 2 months long character building class every morning in PLKN, that was the ultimate pure torture.
Then, to BTN ~ well, maybe this one has more to do with brainwashing.
And then entering medical school, it's inevitable to learn psychology FORMALLY along the way.
Imagine giving definition to hostility, depression, anxiety when it's something that's in your skin, something that everybody knows it naturally and has difficulty putting a verbal/written meaning to it.
Brings depression, I know.

Well anyway, check out if you have these
~ outburst at small things
~ tense muscle
~ anxious facial expression
~ irratible
Because you might have professional burn out syndrome! =)


But what did you pay to have those things?
~ inability to say no
~ tendency to self sacrifice
~ skyhigh expectation
~ inability to accept failure

For management of these conditions kindly use google.hehehe

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Masa

When I am having a monotonus lecture i.e. microbiology and trying my best to not lose my concentration, I couldn't help but notice that the clock is ticking, painfully, very slow.
A quarter an hour feels like eternity as my lecturer mouthing funny names like Francisella tularensis and Dracunculus medinensis.


But when it's the exam period when there are hundreds of questions and 2 3 inch books to revise, the time flew by at the speed of Concorde.
I have this imagination to tore down the clock tower that rang its bell every 15 minutes.
It feels like you are in a racing (speaking of which, you really are), and the clock does great in incresing the pressure.
Oh well.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Patriotic


One of the reson why I am labelled weird is because I loves listening to patriotic songs and songs like katak lompat, ikan kekek and the likes.
For unknown reason, I have this fondness over my homecountry Malaysia.
I enjoy singing the national anthem, always giddy to hang the flag on August and never hate Malaysia, even though some unspeakable things have taken over the concern on fellow Malaysians these past few years.
Having been enjoying the privilege of being a Malaysian and comparing notes to other friends from various country, I am always grateful to be born a Malaysian.
I love going to National Service, somehow like the BTN and always have this urge to tell about my country to others ~ well, it couldn't be helped in my case.

I've always been labelled overly patriotic and instead of being put off by such statement, I take pride in it.
But having been living in Hradec Kralove, I notice the people from a particular country who indeed is far more patriotic than I am.
I mean, usually you'll bump into one or two people being patriotic about their country but most people just don't really care.
But Norwegians, to my eyes are really proud of their country.
They have no problem wearing their national flag and they boast their achievement as the best place to live on the earth.
It's always Norway this, Norway that.
They don't have to say it out loud, but you can see it in them, that they fiercely love their nation.
Such spirit. Hats off.