Integrity

Back in 2008, I was not on the list of 50 people to take the entrance exam by my now university.

Because I was no 52.

And so it happened, most of students from the list backed off, enticed by India.

Since my then college had a complicated management, I was forced to sit for the entrance exam.

Had the offer come a week earlier, I would willingly take the exam.

The offer came when I was preparing for the final examination of my last semester and a week to the actual date of the entrance examination.

Obviously, I rejected the offer.

But I was accused of being ungrateful and things.

How am I supposed to be grateful when I'm the second choice?

Hel-lo

I didn't even have that much time to cover everything.

And since there's no way out, I was determined to make the best out of it.

I have to pass the entrance test.

In less than a week time, I went to the library and borrowed book for the first time since I registered.

more than 3 thick books in one go.

Gambar sah ada kaitan.

I stayed up and put my effort into it.

My friends supported me, lending me their laptop and were there to answer my questions.

I managed to get some phone numbers from my high school friend.

And I called whoever it is, asking about this and that, how to pass the entrance exam.

As suggested, I crammed my head with common names of chemicals.

We used IUPACS names in college.

And boy, really, change is hard.

He told me it's better to opt for physics rather than maths.

Higher chance to get the offer letter in your mailbox =p

My physics was bad, eversince high school.

But since I was determined to pass, I took the risk anyway.

And I was the only one from our batch who opted for physics.

Yes, I am saying that I put up a really good work for it and He helps me a lot.

And since He aproved of me going to Bohemia, I was among the 9 who passed the exam.

I was feeling very grateful and satistfied before someone in quest to comfort his then girlfriend who didn't make it, said shit about our success.

Apparently we were just lucky bunch, who passed with minimal effort.

I won't say the girl didn't work hard herself, in fact she worked hard all year long.

She was a very good girl, and still is.

But that boy was talking shits that made me stand up and defend myself.

My own bestfriend in college was taken by surprise regarding my reply to the accuse.

Well, never tickle a sleeping dragon.

Dan semalam, yang benar telah disuruh untuk menghadiri mesyuarat luar biasa CzeMSA (usah ditanya kenapa namanya luar biasa) di PRAGUE yang sepatutnya bermula pada pukul 8 PAGI.

Biasalah, memikul tugas sebagai bidan terjun bila yang lain menolak untuk pergi (kalau nak jadi doktor kena ada CV, akan ku tulis bidan terjun di bawah kategori pekerjaan dan kelebihan)

Pada awalnya yang benar merancang untuk menelaah subjek Immunology sepanjang mesyuarat berlangsung.

Gambar sekadar hiasan tapi macam ada kaitan.

Namun alhamdulillah, Allah hembuskan peringatan dalam hati.

Mengingatkan yang benar datang, walaupun sebagai bidan terjun, tetap datang mewakili rakan-rakan yang lain.

Dalam erti kata ringkasnya datang degan memegang amanah dan tanggungjawab kepada orang lain.

Dosa buat kat diri sendiri tak terjawab macam mana nak jawab dosa pecah amanah yang diberi orang kat akhirat nanti weh.

Maka dengan penuh keinsafan, buku immunology dibiarkan damai memeram di dalam beg, dan earphone un dicabut dari menyumbat telinga.

Setiap usul dan cadangan yang diketengahkan, yang benar menimangnya (ops, menimbangnya ialah perkataan yang lebih tepat) dengan penuh berhemah sekali.

Jika ada yang kurang difahami, yang benar bertanya dan berbincang dengan Kak Didi yang duduk di sisi yang benar.

Setiap kali pengundian dijalankan yang benar akan memilih, berdasarkan apa yang benar rasa bermanfaat dan dimahukan oleh rakan-rakan yang benar.

Dan yang benar sendiri agak terkejut bila mendapati diri sendiri, merujuk kepada perlembagaan persatuan *satu tepukan gemuruh untuk diri sendiri*

Mungkin pada orang lain di dalam dewan persidangan, yang benar tidak bangun membahaskan usul-usul yang dicadangkan.

Benar itu.

Sebab yang benar sedar yang benar ialah tidak lain dan tidak bukan, hanyalah bidan terjun.

Lagi pun takkan semua 100++ orang yang hadir dalam mesyuarat tu nak cakap kan.

Dah tu siapa pulak yang nak mendengar iya tak?

Dan alkisahnya bangunlah seorang hamba Allah yang tidaklah dikenali oleh yang benar.

Dan termasuk dalam pandangan hamba itu, kebanyakan orang yang berada di dalam mesyuarat itu hanya datang dan duduk.

Katanya lebih baik yang tidak bercakap ni duduk kat rumah saja.

Oh mungkin dia penat asyik-asyik hanya dia dan beberapa yang lain sahaja yang bercakap.

Namun, yang benar sangat marah dituduh sedemikian.

Betullah apa hamba itu cakap.

Balik duduk kat rumah lagi bagus.

Iyalah, kalau nak mengulangkaji pelajaran, nak dengar lagu dari Ipod, nak baca novel, bukankah lebih afdal untuk dilakukan sambil duduk di rumah.

Tapi salahnya hamba itu membuat generalisation.

Siapa yang tidak marah.

Yang benar bangun seawal 430 pagi dengan harapan dapat naik keretaapi pada pukul 6 pagi.

Menapak ke dewan persidangan sambil mengelak najis-najis anjing yang bersepah di atas jalan dari terkena baju kurung kerawang yang disayangi.

Duduk di dalam dewan yang dipenuhi oleh orang-orang yang kurang dikenali selama 4 jam sedangkan yang benar boleh sahaja menyelusuri jalan-jalan indah di kota raya Prague, bersama merapatkan hubungan dengan junior-junior sambil menurunkan petua bagaimana membeli barang degan potongan harga (petuanya ialah dengan muka tak malu, keluarkan kad ISIC dan tanya, can I get discount as a student?)

Memilih membaca perlembagaan persatuan dari membaca buku Immunology (siapa yang merasakan perlembagaan itu lebih menarik, sungguh kamu lebih pelik dari yang benar)

Alih-alih dituduh hanya duduk saja di dalam mesyuarat.

Mahu sahaja melastik mulut hamba itu.

Tapi yang benar sedar, baik yang benar lampiaskan kemarahan di dalam blog setelah yang benar mengisi perut dengan juadah enak di kedutaan, berkenal-kenalan dengan orang yang lebih rasional dalam berbicara serta bersosial dengan rakan-rakan yang dikasihi.

Bersama mereka yang dikasihi

Sekian sahaja dari yang benar.

By the way, originally I want to put "I Have to Make Myself Clear, and I Need You to Know This" as the title of this post.

Akhirkata, selamat meneruskan hidup di esok hari.

The Archer

In my quest to widen my horizon, I've crossed seas and lands.

I've met so many people along the way.

Learned many things and implemented the values that I collected along the way.

I'm always on the go, always moving forward, or maybe looking upwards is a more suitable expression.

I've changed in so many ways.

Fall too many times to be up and walking, or running again.

And He was there all the time.

Watching and guarding me.

Every moment I fall, every moment I stumble, every moment I threw cautions to the wind.

I was never abandoned.

And He decided that it's time to let me be more free.

Free in so many ways.

Free to explore.

Free to decide on my own.

Free as in free.

I am in any way possible, blessed.

To the point where I am considering to continue to be away.

Kacang lupakan kulit.

Guilty as charged.

Been too pampered with all the blessings and set out to gain more.

Lupa untuk menunduk, melihat ke bawah.

Melihat mereka yang masih tertindas, melihat mereka yang masih di situ sedang aku di sini berlari ria meneroka sini dan sana.

Them, with their limited dream, when mine, reaching infinity.

In this journey of mine, there are oints when I totally forget of these people.

These people who needs me, these people who needs you.

Direly.

Maka, kalau aku terlupa lagi, ingatkan aku, ada yang memerlukan di ceruk sana.

The roads to them won't be easy.

Yang pasti, yang tersurat, mereka amanah untuk aku dan untuk kamu.

Kecil Besar

tua muda

*merepek*

Hari ini saya beli baju saiz S.

Beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini, saya tidak penah memakai pakaian bersaiz S.

Sekian.

Broumovské Stěny

known as Broumov Walls in English.

After 2 years of resentment because I had to miss all 4 trips that were organized, I finally joined such a trip yesterday.

It's one of my goal, and something I really like to do and at the end of the trip, I must say that I'm beyond satisfied.

Not even the gloomy weather dampen my gratefulness.

The ship and the pig

We started off from train station, greeting new friends.

It's wonderful to exchange our views and knowledge, and yes, to know what happens to our tuition fees.

Anyway, the Czech student don't have to pay for their tuition.

And the reasons why we international student have to pay for our tuition and the reason why it keeps increasing in subsequent year is because, those money is what that keeps the faculty going.

Allocation by government wouldn't buy us those expensive toys (read: machines), and what is a medical school without expensive bulky machines.

Anyway, we hopped on two trains and then a bus to literally nowhere and began to go into the woods.

Pure, total nature!

~I'm the one who would go into forests, waddling into streams and lost between the trees instead of wandering the streets of Paris or go shopping in Prague.

First leg of the journey had me panting and my junior vomiting.

Luckily we have a vojak(he's a student sponsored by army force) in the group who helped us carry her bag.

I'm envious of the Czechs of course.

They are very fit and well versed of the nature.

Which means

~ they are ready to go when we just arrived and want to take many snaps (anyway, really they don't snap as many pics as we do)

~ they can stand at the end of the stone overlooking the planes down there and not having anyone to tell them "be careful!" endlessly

If you get what I mean

We had soups and pancakes at this chateau which have games' skins and horns on the walls, with big fireplace crackling behind our table and dark carved woods.

And for the cucur that I made, it's unbelievable that the tupperware got empty in no time.

Everyone had one at least, and no one have problem with the chillies in it.

The final leg of our journey was more slippery.

And when you are on a slippery trail I have an advice from my experience.

Never ever have PDA in front of anybody.

Do it when you are walking behind others pls.

Someone may fell and your PDA would be halted. =p

We climb onto this largest stones of all and the wind was blowing hard.

It was very calming up there, with the cool crisp wind on your sweating body.

And what's more, with other people around, enjoying the same bliss.

The stone mushrooms

One of the good things when you are hiking and walking with Czechs is that they will help you to get past those barking dogs.

I'm ok with dogs as long as it don't barks to me and given that it's small.

It didn't help yesterday when most who came along on trips with their owner is as large as a fox.

Oh the Czechs was informed that we had bad experiences with dogs back home.

Out of the woods, we came into 2 cows grazing and a stretch of road leading to glowing sunset ahead.

I know it was not a beautiful road, as stressed by the vojak (he says he can't find anything beautiful about that road)

the trees are bare, the sheeps just a few and there were rusty metal thingies in the fields.

Yes, it's not beautiful at all, but still I feel that it's a road that deserve my affection.

It's simply something in it's own way.

The beautifully agly road

I thought the havoc was over.

We had gone through roots and stones and pebbles and waters but no!!!!

There were two big dogs joining us at the small bus stop and some more people came.

We had a good time waiting with a heartwarming tug of war going on in the bus stop.

I have a good impression on Czechs.

On how they take their small kids on trips with them.

We wonder what is the smallest kid bringing on his small rucksack-his own nappies perhaps.

Isn't that a good idea?! =p

And when the 'bus' came, lo and behold!

It's a big van.

The one that's designed to carry less than 20 people.

The 'bus' set off with almost 50 smelly people (me included), kids included and 2 big dogs.

Thanks Allah, we survived that ride or else the title for tomorrow news would be something like this

"40 people died and 2 dogs traumatized when an overloaded van turned turtle"

Matthew even spell HELP on the misty window and Martin the leader keep counting the time when we would be free from that 'bus'.

I treat the journey as an experience.

A valueable one.

We dropped off those additions and sped up to catch with the train.

At one time, we were parallel with the moving train (what they did in the movie also happened to me!) and we waved it to slow down (and of course they didn't notice us)

The driver was great and we managed to catch that train and didn't have to sleep in the small train station.

I parted off, happy with the day that gave me many new insights, valueable experiences, new acquaintances and lotsa ponderings.

The nature is indeed great to be with and I'm already thinking about the next trip, hoping that I can join it and have my studies alright.

Winter Is Coming!!!!!

They have taken away all those wooden terraces outside restaurants a fortnight ago.

And today, my nose bled.

Which means, it's officially winter!

@_@