Making The Conclusion

Yonks ago, when I started to learn science formally, we were introduced to protocols. First you gotta have motive. And then you gotta make observations, hypothesis and carry out a set of procedures. After you collected the result, analysis should be done and after taking into considerations of many things, then only you can draw the conclusion.

I mean, people shall not jump into conclusion that hastily. Seeing a fraction of people's life, albeit for an extended time isn't sufficient for making a conclusion, because you are seeing only a fraction. There's more to discover really and you never know.

The One and Only

I came across this poem. It seems familiar. I must have forgotten about it but I am sure it was there somewhere in my teenage years. And I miss my one and only, daddy. Though he may not be 100% like the poem below. Never wrote me a letter, and always greet me with his receeding tummy (albeit still buncit) on skype.

Abah working on my favourite balitong. Actually we were competing over who will finish first. Obviously I lost terribly. It's my first time and the balitong kept flying in different directions other than into the basin.

Kujabat mesra tangan ayah
Urat-urat daging-daging tua keras terasa
Mataku tersenyum, matanya menyapa
Anak yang pulang disambut mesra.

Tapi matanya, mata yang menatapku
Kolam-kolam derita dan pudar bulan pagi
Garis-garis putih lesu melingkungi hitam-suram
Suatu kelesauan yang tak pernah dipancarkan dulu.

Kelibat senyum matanya masih jua ramah
Akan menutup padaku kelesuan hidup sendiri
Bagai dalam suratnya dengan kata-kata siang
Memintaku pulang menikmati beras baru.

Anak yang pulang di sisi ayahnya maka akulah
merasakan kepedihan yang tercermin di mata
Meski kain pelekatnya bersih dalam kesegaran wuduk
Dan ia tidak pernah merasa, sebab derita itu adalah dia.

~Usman Awang

Something That I Want to Protect

I am listening to poem recitations. Malay poems.

One after another and then I clicked on the poem Melayu by Usman Awang.

I ticked the Malay box in all my forms. I guess I am a Malay. I mean during History lesson back in high school Malay is defined as someone who speaks Malay, is a muslim and adopt Malay tradition.

I fulfilled all three so I am a Malay am I not.

And then when I heard the poem, I begin to question.

You see, when I was small, I live in this small bay at the northwest end of Penang.

There were Malays, Chinese and Indians.

Each of the race has distinct tradition and values.

It was a melting pot. We live alongside each other and hang out with each other.

And then I grow up and expand my horizon.

What I see and experience saddens me.

I mean, we are slowly disregarding our traditions and is very much westernized.

Very much so. The culture we are adopting is almost homogenous but we are, puzzlingly, at each others'throats.

As the poem goes on, I realised that most of people aren't as Malay anymore.

When people nowadays talk, they don't talk that nicely let alone softly. I don't believe this anymore for you see I have been in an almost perfect circle but when I mix into the crowd, I don't recognize their language. Even their body language scares me.

Being polite is scoffed upon and limits are non existent.

But then, I recognize the Malay described in the poem.

The Malay in the poem is the one from my first 12 years of life.

And then I went into boarding school. That place is like a hybrid of palace and jail. Almost everything is in order. There are limits and restrictions and etiquette.

And then I went to PLKN. I met a totally different crowd. The language is still familiar but the culture not. I came across many shocking things in PLKN.

I then went to do prep course for a year and I met people like the peeps from high school again and not long after I flew into central Europe.

My friends are still the almost perfect people, with manners, limits and restrictions, though they may be thinking globally but their actions are still within limit.

But then there will be summer when I will go back and see the crowd being so liberal and the people from my first 12 years of life that I left for a good amount of time have become alien to me. Why world why?

And then there are numbers of international fellow students who insist on "having fun''.

I mean, everybody has their own preference and way of having fun.

Why should you force "having'' fun on people? There are others who don't join in and nobody makes a fuss of it, just because they are minority so you don't really notice them.

People, for some people, there are something that they want to protect.

For me, as a Muslim and Malay, I take pride in not going to clubs, bars and disco. You can insist that I just come over and order something non alcoholic but then what's the purpose of going? It's not like I want to rock the dance floor too. You know what?there is something, that when you do it, it neither degrade or upgrade you. But for certain other things, when you do it, you can risk losing the values you hold. That is if you ever heard of the meaning of the word principle.

For me, there are lines that I can cross and there are grounds that I shouldn't step on. I don't feel burdened by it but it's more like a satisfication for me to be able to exercise self control.

Don't take things to heart when we decline some invitation. Plus, it deosn't look like we decline it harshly for you to be pissed off.

And let me tell you one thing. When you ask me to go to such places aforementioned with the arguement of I don't need to take alcohol, I've always have this question for you ~ and when I do that, what's next you are going to ask me to do?

In case you don't realise, I, have something that I want to protect. My root.

Kawad Kaki PLKN

I anticipated going to PLKN, all the activities excite me but there's an exception. I dreaded foot drill(will be referred as kawad kaki afterwards), and unfortunately it's like the main agenda of our physical activities.

For the record, I have always fainted during band marching back in high school that it's the indication for break for all the band members. I've tried all sorts of tips and whatsnot like staring into green bodies, but it just end up the same, dimmed vision and plop!

It didn't help when I fainted during our very first assembly in PLKN, held in the early morning with the mist still hanging around and to make things worst, was in the mass hall.I know right?

It was such an embarassment that I covered myself up under the duvet when the camp commandant paid his visit shortly after the assembly (the sickbay is just next to mass hall)

Bukit padang kawad

And if you want to know, the selection of headgirl in our company was done based on kawad kaki skill. Pathetic!

Anyway, we had some other physical activities the first few days. Stuff like carrying 2 big bin bags full of PLKN articles like boots, sport shoes, combat suits, poncho etc and assessing the trainee fitness. I am sure that by the end of PLKN, every trainee was almost as fit as a horse. You need to see my camp for yourself to understand what I am talking about. And when you see the camp, do realise that we went up and down the hills no less than 6 times a day.

So when the dreaded news "we will start the kawad kaki training this afternoon" came, my face fell and my stomach knotted. I did horrible for the first few sessions.

But then, there's no escaping it. We were trained very well.

Sometimes we did it in the whole company, and sometimes we did it in fours.

Under the scorching hot sun, and the fact that we are nearer to it thanks to the location ~accommodation hilltop, instructed by ex armies and with newfound words (to us) the likes of cilabai laut, malaun etc. blaring around.

I picked things up and tried my best to like this skill.

They even made us tukar langkah countless of time when we march our way down the steepest hill. As if marching down a hill is not hard enough we had to do tukar langkah, check-up, buat kerja, check-up!, jangan malass, check-up!!!!!!!!!!!!

And as written in the fate, I was selected among others to be the 20 girls sent for the intercompany competition. I still hadn't come to love foot drill by that time. I had to put up with more intense training of the foot drill and I just sucked it up. There's no escaping it. And on the competition day itself, dressed head to toe in our marvellous celoreng biru, our berets glazing with the PLKN badges, our boots waxed to shine, we were sweating and all nervous, waiting our turn, which drew last. The tension was floating around even though we were waiting downhill. Though all the crowds and the competing teams were invisible to us, the shouted commands, solid thumps fom the drill and cheering of the audience were audible an echoed in between the two hills.

And then came our turn. It was right at noon and the sun was directly above us. Steadily, and surely we marched up the hill that hosted our tarmac drill field. We were all focused, smartly dressed and urm, 10 shades darker than our original complexions. As for me myself, that was the most heartfelt foot drill for me. The platoon felt like one, we swung our arms firmly, stomp at the same time and our head held up. We rolled it perfectly and marched downhill, satisfied. We all know it was the best performance we ever put up, and cikgu Awie will eat up his words and acknowledge us. Most importantly I didn't passed out and my new answer to foot drill ~bring it on!

This is the video of us during the competition.Quality is rather low but you can see how hot it was from the poorly visible characters on the flying flags.

As told, kawad is a major thing in PLKN. And well, we swept clean all the first places - kawad wirawati, kawad wira and ketua platun terbaik. Alpha panthera roared! Aummmm!!!!

Photos are from fellow trainees Kumpulan 1 Siri 4 Kem PLKN Bukit Besar, Kulim, Kedah.

Geli Hati

Tengok drama. Seorang lelaki kemalangan, dimasukkan ke hospital dipasang ECG. Lelaki itu sedang nazak dan kemudiannya meninggal dunia. Scene di mana hembusan nafas terakhir diambil pada sudut yang menampakkan ECG monitor. Sebaik sahaja lelaki itu meninggal, ECG wave di monitor menjadi flat. Di monitor juga terpapar, ECG lead off. Reaksi saya -- ERKK?????

True and Sad Stories from the Toilet

Yes, they are sad stories happening in the pensieve room.Believe me.

Once upon a moon ago, I read a news about man suffering from nasty burn because he smoked when doing his business.

Apparently this man didn't know that his bowel has methane (a combustible gas). All he know that it is flatulence. So people, take note, your fart contains methane. And when you pass stool, you'll also do microfart(s).

So obviously : the fuel (methane) + heat (the cigarette) = flame

flame in small cubicle + your body ----> burn

I guess the man learnt his lesson. He should by now. And you should learn the lesson from him too.

Second sad story is unfortunately, most of the time, unavoidable.

Some people have DVT (deep vein thrombosis) and is unaware of it, because most of the time, DVT are asymptomatic.

But when you do Valsava maneuvre (layman's term is straining to evacute your bowel), the silent DVT decides to be noisy and change its name. It dislocates due to the pressure and travels up into the heart and out of the heart into vessels going to the lung. It is most unfortunate when the embolus get trapped in the early portion of the vessel going to the lung (which diameter is large), which almost always mean sudden death.

Remember how death can greet you anytime? Well, this is one of the wayS death can choose to fetch maybe you, and maybe me. (T_T)

Logic

Many a times in medical school, logic is essential.

So, the question is, what is the most common tumor in the gastrointestinal tract?

Carcinoid pop out from my mind when I heard this question but then when I inject some logic, it doesn't seem to be the answer seeing that there's not so many enteroendocrine cell in the gut (well, RELATIVELY, it's not that many really).

And yes, carcinoid is not the MOST common tumor in GIT.