Something That I Want to Protect

I am listening to poem recitations. Malay poems.

One after another and then I clicked on the poem Melayu by Usman Awang.

I ticked the Malay box in all my forms. I guess I am a Malay. I mean during History lesson back in high school Malay is defined as someone who speaks Malay, is a muslim and adopt Malay tradition.

I fulfilled all three so I am a Malay am I not.

And then when I heard the poem, I begin to question.

You see, when I was small, I live in this small bay at the northwest end of Penang.

There were Malays, Chinese and Indians.

Each of the race has distinct tradition and values.

It was a melting pot. We live alongside each other and hang out with each other.

And then I grow up and expand my horizon.

What I see and experience saddens me.

I mean, we are slowly disregarding our traditions and is very much westernized.

Very much so. The culture we are adopting is almost homogenous but we are, puzzlingly, at each others'throats.

As the poem goes on, I realised that most of people aren't as Malay anymore.

When people nowadays talk, they don't talk that nicely let alone softly. I don't believe this anymore for you see I have been in an almost perfect circle but when I mix into the crowd, I don't recognize their language. Even their body language scares me.

Being polite is scoffed upon and limits are non existent.

But then, I recognize the Malay described in the poem.

The Malay in the poem is the one from my first 12 years of life.

And then I went into boarding school. That place is like a hybrid of palace and jail. Almost everything is in order. There are limits and restrictions and etiquette.

And then I went to PLKN. I met a totally different crowd. The language is still familiar but the culture not. I came across many shocking things in PLKN.

I then went to do prep course for a year and I met people like the peeps from high school again and not long after I flew into central Europe.

My friends are still the almost perfect people, with manners, limits and restrictions, though they may be thinking globally but their actions are still within limit.

But then there will be summer when I will go back and see the crowd being so liberal and the people from my first 12 years of life that I left for a good amount of time have become alien to me. Why world why?

And then there are numbers of international fellow students who insist on "having fun''.

I mean, everybody has their own preference and way of having fun.

Why should you force "having'' fun on people? There are others who don't join in and nobody makes a fuss of it, just because they are minority so you don't really notice them.

People, for some people, there are something that they want to protect.

For me, as a Muslim and Malay, I take pride in not going to clubs, bars and disco. You can insist that I just come over and order something non alcoholic but then what's the purpose of going? It's not like I want to rock the dance floor too. You know what?there is something, that when you do it, it neither degrade or upgrade you. But for certain other things, when you do it, you can risk losing the values you hold. That is if you ever heard of the meaning of the word principle.

For me, there are lines that I can cross and there are grounds that I shouldn't step on. I don't feel burdened by it but it's more like a satisfication for me to be able to exercise self control.

Don't take things to heart when we decline some invitation. Plus, it deosn't look like we decline it harshly for you to be pissed off.

And let me tell you one thing. When you ask me to go to such places aforementioned with the arguement of I don't need to take alcohol, I've always have this question for you ~ and when I do that, what's next you are going to ask me to do?

In case you don't realise, I, have something that I want to protect. My root.