Janji Yang Tertunai

I never knew the 20th year of my life is the year when He teaches me the real life.

So, this is what it feel likes to become an adult huh.

It's already half a year, and man, I do learn a lot.

It seems like these 7 months are able to wipe out my 7 years of hardship before I reside in Bohemia.

True to my nature, I have been quite persistent in upholding my values.

Some are good, some are ugly.

I've lost a great deal of myself, of which I plan on recovering it back on holiday.

Good things inshaallah.

So, janji yang tertunai.

The fulfilled promise.

It looks like my prediction of a gloomy year pierces the bullseye.

Things didn't happen to me, at least big things, but big things did happen to my closies.

Just nak menyibuk, I do have problem. an internal one. A struggle against perkara2 mazmumah.

Ok2.

So, my friend who has been diagnosed with tuberculosis is already out of the danger zone, but how long she's going to be in hospital, we don't know.

And, it is Canada, so you can imagine how lonely you would be if u r in her place.

No mom or dad visiting.

Another friend of mine, my neighbour to be exact lost his girlfriend last month to encephalitis and yesterday, his mom followed.

I mean, I know she had hypertension but when my mom called to inform me about that, I still can't believe it up till now.

I mean, are you serious?And I can't stop thinking about my poor friend.

I have witnessed his undividing love for both women.

One is a girl whom I never met, another who caught me still sleeping in bed at 11am and is a friend of my mom.

I still remember him telling me about his break up.

And telling about wanting to get her back.

Get her back he did but she made another promise long before that.

And after 2 months of struggle, she went to see Him, the one who she truly belongs to.

He was heartbroken and he did changed a lot, towards the better.

Yesterday, I thought, my friend would have the most terrible breakdown ever.

He is the closest of all four despite being the third child.

We talked about our mom and we both agree that whenever we have bitterment towards our mom, we would feel like crying our lung out at the same time.

I was calculating whether I should or should not greet him online.

Being away, is quite an advantage, in term of not having have to think about your body language when communicating in such an event.

I asked him what happened.

He said she went away, maybe because she was tired the night before.

But she was better in the morning but at 11am, he saw that she is not there anymore.

He was such a strong man.

I remember his mother saying that she doesn't want him to further overseas, and he didn't make it to the land down under.

Indeed, it's the best thing that happened.

Because he didn't go, he got both last chances with people he loves.

As for me, I still feel that the negativity will stretch somemore, and what is going to happen after this, I never would have guss what is it.

But above all, I'm most thankful to Allah for bestowing me with my family, albeit we are so far away, I still have them in my heart and I have always been in their prayers.

And to the wonderful friends that I have here alongside the values that they teach me every now and then

I also begin to learn what Keela said, tak perlu mencari yang jauh, kadang2 apa yang kita mahu dah ada di depan mata.

Before I was not searching for something far away, I was eyeing something far away.

But I decided that enough is enough and it is time to cherish what I am having.

Things and people come and go, and whilst we are at it, we should give it the best we can.

Vous Me Manquez

Inikah rindu?

Indahnya.

Manis.

Mencabar.

Vous me manquez

Vous me manquez

Mahu diucap berkali-kali

Mahu diulang-ulang sehingga puas

Mahu dipeluk erat-erat bila berjumpa

Vous me manquez

Vous me manquez

Dulu, quand vous me dites que vous me manquez

Diri ini ketawa-ketawa

Masih belum pernah merasakan rindu.

Terdetik mungkin.

Rindu sesungguhnya ini yang pertama.

Vous me manquez

attendez moi!!!

Observe Closely

and see the beauty that lies in every society.

forget that they don't have your favourite cheese, or that they don't sell peanut butter

set aside their reputation as world no 1 beer drinker

or that they are still stuck in the 90's

Today, I saw thru those things and I see

a middle aged woman wearing make up when she's just staying in her house

What do you think of it?

I think that's appreciable and admirable

Of course from my view as a Muslim, a woman shall not doll up to show off to people.

Personally I think you should doll up for the pleasure of your family and yourself, only.

I haven't been in that so many Czech household but so far

the houses that I've been too will always make me clean up my own after the visit

They are so clean and tidy it's inhuman =p

This evening, I went to look for a house to be rented (no, I'm not moving out, I'm just agen yang tak bertauliah)

The glass top seems like it is for showcase.

It's like you are in the Dursleys' where Petunia keeps everything in order and make stars appear from her pots and pans.

Kak Belle said something that has been in my mind for quite a while, is it that these people are clean and tidy freak, or is it that me who should be an F in household management.

My crib looks like a camp if compared to the house.

But I have exams and it's so hard to keep the usual cleaning.

Owh, now I admire my mom.

She has work everyday, and commute to and fro the house by bus (go and check our public transportation)

And she still cook and clean.

I Wonder

how anxious can I be when my real judgement day comes

would I fret about everything like I do now?

Now : oh no, there's a lot more to cover, would the time be enough? *going through the memory center* crap!I'm not sure if I remember what I already covered.

To come : oh no, my days is numbered, would I do enough good deeds until then. *going through memory center* man, how do I correct my past mistakes??

I wonder how sad and worried I am when my real judgement day comes

Would I shed tears and dare not smile because of the burden on my shoulders?

Now : the road is hard it feels like you always return to square 1 even though u already nearing the destination. It feels like for every pebbles you collect, another is left behind.

To come : I already makes thousands of ukhuwwah, chaining countless loves, but with every love and ukhuwwah I fastened, the last on the trail always crumble. How do I smile?There's a lot to cried upon instead.

my heart, my poor heart, it frets and wriggles almost every now and then

it sees happiness there, it sees the destination, but the journey has yet to be completed.

My poor heart, poor it only sees a mirage

When do it see the real destination?

Hello fragile and worrying heart, albeit a stone is left behind when another 1 is picked up

albeit another question unlocated when another just have been completed,

remember, Allah appreciates your effort

remember there's no better deal than the deal with Him

The capital comes from him, but the profit and the capital altogether is yours, only if you know.

My poor heart, strive with every confident you can muster, and keep going!