I AM MAD

I have been pretty composed all this while, well, at least I think I did.

Not now anymore.

I am simply mad and feel wronged.

Our examination system is a headache.

Basically it's done orally.

You can book the dates that's AVAILABLE.

Usually there will be optimally 10 seats for one date.

In my batch, we have about 60 +/- international students and 100+/- Czech students.

And we have about 3 exams, each averaging 150 known questions (which means the whole 2 inch medical book ~ well, almost)

Here's how it works.

A date and time is set up for booking and we compete virtually for our preferred dates.

If you got lucky, you get your dates.

Some people even get kicked out of the system because the sudden clicking from hundreds competitors.

During the exam, you pick randomly questions from the box.

Usually you got 3 questions and then you prepare your answers before you go and talk in front of the examiner.

Some people get interrogated some people just mouthing everything he or she knows.

If you passed they sign your index book (record book), if you don't here's the famous sentence

"I think you have to study more"

or

"I'm afraid that I have to see you again"

or anything like that.

And then, if you feel that you are not ready yet to go for your preferred dates, you dropped your preferred date just before the dateline (usually it's 36 hours shy of your preferred date) and by doing that you are giving chance to anyboby who would like to go for your date.

But there are cases where people drop their dates by email in 24 hours and I'm afraid that the date just get burn like that.

Anyway, I succesfully got 2 subjects signed and was preparing to go for the last one on June 30.

I wa all positive that I would complete all 56 questions of tumors in 2 days, which is by others standard is impossible.

I studied 50 ECG papers in 2 days which by others standard is impossible and I thought maybe I could ace 56 tumor questions in 2 days too.

But upon realising it's impossible, I dropped my date and was prepared to battle for the limited dates in July.

I have to do it in July

1. because I have studied a week short to one month

2. because I decided at last minute that I should fly back home for a friend's wedding

So why am I mad?

Well, it is because I didn't get any date for my exam.

Ridiculous!

I was about to get mad at myself because I thought I didn't study all year long but when I was studying for those 250 questions I saw that I have been studying ~ notes that I thought I never made but I did, book that I thought I touch for just a couple of times full with underlines.

Ok I studied, so no blame over there.

But then I am mad at myself for not making it to my original date on the 30th.

And I am more mad because the lecturer cc the email to all who pleaded for July dates part of it saying

"i am sorry, probably i will not make you happy, however, i will not change the rules during the game. thank you for your understanding"

OK, so he will not change the rules during the game.

I can accept that but what I can't accept is that the game was not played fairly.

If you are saying the July dates will be open publicly on 30th at 3 pm you should do exactly as what you said, otherwise what's the use of sticking to the rules.

The situation is that at 3pm on 30th, the system didn't work.

I kept clicking F5 like an idiot for 3 minutes and not realising that the dates are already filled.

Unbeknownst to me, the register button appeared one by one at certain times.

I mean, WTH!!!

So now tell me, is this also the rule in the game?

Because to my knowledge, all the register buttons are supposed to appear at exactly 3pm as stated.

You know what, whereter the game is fair or not, I am still mad at myself mostly, for not focusing like I do back in high school.

By focusing I mean, 250 questions is doable in 2 weeks and by studying at a snail's pace, I had 56 tumors questions to cover in 5 days.

So it's still my fault at the end.

I couldn't ask for a classroom full with people, noisy or not, so that I can only study intently without noticing any calling for me ~ I already snapped out of it, that now I am not a boarder anymore.

I just hope someone would drop their July date so that I can get this done and over with and return for 2 months holiday in Penang.

Please Allah, please.