Life Is Fair

I`m sending u a special child to cherish in my name,
For u to love with all ur heart n teach her juz the same,
For she is not like other babies, nor will ever be,
But u can love her just the same n take care her 4 Me,
She may not hear. see or run or learn as other do,
but she'll be yours and she will take her guidance all from u,
The road is hard, she'll break ur heart,
You'll cry a million tears
But I promise when she smiles at you,
the pain will dissapear,
I know you'll cry "why she, why us" but I needed the teachers true,
And that is why we care and trust i've selected you,
so please don't turn ur back on her, although she may be slow,
if you'll accept her as she is, together u will grow,
she needs to learn the skills of life,
for that i've chosen u,
and with ur love to guide her
i'll know u see her through
don't try to see the future, i promise that to none,
just live each other all it's worth
and enjoy my special one

This poem really tugs at my heart.

I'm just 20 and no, I haven't think of starting a family whatsoever

Maybe accompanying my abah mostly every week to play dam haji with his diasabled childhood friend when I was small contributes for me being touched at this poem

well, maybe

why Life Is Fair?

u may ask me

I've heard many remarks about life being unfair

and I've sometimes asking

why he's happy why I'm not happy

Or why me?Why not she?

Let me tell you

If someone seems perfect to you, while you find every reason to blame everything for your unpleasant situation, don't blame him

You never know what kind of hardship has he been through or what kind of hell is waiting in front of him

I've a friend back in high school

She's beautiful, she's graceful, she's from a well off family

A look at her, and you'll envy her

What a LUCKY girl

But she has a sick little sister, 12 years younger

At 6, the little sister can't walk independently and have white coat anxiety

She suffers from brain clotting

I learned about their hardship

But I never really know how does it feel

My brother himself,

alhamdulillah, in me and my parents eyes, turns out a fine young chap

Others think my mom is LUCKY to have such a son

But before that, I've lost count of how many people saying

"Alahai, auww nya anak/adik hang"

My brother is not an auww type, he just like to keep to himself and do gardening

I saw how much he struggled

He's not very good in maths or english

While offer to participate in quizzes or sport competitions greet me

He had hard time chasing a bloo*y certificate for National Day parade

I hate camping so much but he always tried (and was never successful) to join red crescent camping

He's always independent

He work days and nights so as to buy something he needs not something he wishes

He being independent does pick at my parents emotion

He wants to minimize their burden and they think he doesn't want them to help

I have so many stories to tell but I reckon 2 will do

However hard the life gets at you

And when thing turns ugly

Don't blame that life is unfair

It's part and parcel of life

Rather than resenting it

The best we can do is to come to term with it

Everybody will face obstacles in their life

Selalunya berada di dalam longkang lebih mengembangkan potensi diri kita dari berada di dalam bath tub berbuih. erk, apekah?

As for me, I've been faring well

I smile a lot and laugh a lot nowadays

Thank to the people around who never fail to entertain me with lame jokes, nice stories and advices

Spring says I'm home to the bohemian land

And spring also have started here, in my life here= )

Poem dari sini

I used to be obsessed with Restu Barakah

I used to be obsessed with floor no 8

Of all places, I hoped that I can stay as long as possible in the balcony

I waited for school breaks anxiously

But at the end, I realise that I must let go

And so, I packed the yesterdays nicely

And sent it away silently

So I keep charging forward, at least that's what I think I've done

And so I move on
Without me realising, setiap jam yang teringat

jadi setiap beberapa jam teringat

kemudian, jadi setiap hari teringat

dan kemudian jadi setiap minggu dan setiap bulan

and then it's there no more

Thankful I am
But then, that news did touch at my heart

She's somewhere in the land of unconsciousness

In my position, I shouldn't feel anything

because she's just no one to me

We've never met

I just heard stories about her, stories that maked me put on a plastic face and kept listening and seeing the expression of how much the láska is for her

All these seem surreal

like some chapter in a novel

I don't pinch myself, but I use the internet to verify things

But to u, I wish you can recover back to normal

And be happy again

U just have to!

Why?

Between a nice answer and an answer which pricks on others' conscience, why choose the latter one?

Between peace and war, why man tend choose the latter?

Between respect and disrespect, why I see the latter most?

Between protecting and violating others right, why must violating be the verb?

Between getting yourself off the responsibility and carry it out well, why must breaking of the responsibility happens?

I would like to see more of good things in life

Would love to see what we call nilai kemasyarakatan realised

I yearn to beam, seeing ikhlas spreading around.

But maybe, maybe, these, all these are happening so that I could think more and plan more and develop even more into a fine person.

They say seeing others ugly sides is like reflecting on your own ugly sides.

Being observant has its hard part for me to overcome too

You look even more to your surrounding and think about it

When something nice happens, you smile and thanks Allah, that good values are still around, good things are happening and what a luck that u have the opportunity to embrace it

When something not nice happens, you sigh and shook your head

You regret that things like this's happening

But with times you realise that the realisation itself is a blessing

What's waorst than ignorance right?

Realisation takes you to ponder some more and teaches you

And with that you grow up, accepting that bad things must happen so that people can appreciate good things even more and you know, you should be a better person for a better world and a better hereafter

Ada Apa Dengan Satu Sen?

1 cent is a bronze coin the size of 1 cent (eh terbelit!ops!)
Whatever, it's embossed with rebana ubi.
The cost of production of 1 cent is higher than 1 cent itself.

In my final year in highschool, I decided to collect 1 cent.
I think most my peers never ever care about 1 cent.
To be exact, most people treat 1 cent like, well, 1 cent.
Hence, I can found it on the roadside, on the tray in fastfood restaurants and at nooks in the dorm.
So, pengembaraanku mengutip coin 1 cent bermula.
I never thought that it would be so exciting.
To see the metal box filled day by day.
I reckon I spent 24 hours or so counting how much had I collect
24 hours is the sum hours byk2 kali kira, not sekali kira ok
I get people shooking their head and whats not and got excited by them
Ok, u don't have to tell me that I'm weird
That's my middle name btw but my mom forgot to register it along with Lina (malas/lena) when I was born =p



So, if I'm to draw a graph, the line should be shooting at 80 degrees in the beginning and as time passes by, the gradient becomes lesser because gradually, people around me was becoming conscious of the value of 1 cent.
So, 1 cent is hard to come by near the end of my career as 1 cent collector
Anyway, I collected the silver 5 cent too.
I remember trying to justify the value of 1 cent and give 10 of it to sum up my bill in the canteen and they got rejected
pftt

when I decided that I should see the fruit of my labour (ceewah)
I chucked all my silvery 5cents and bronzey 1 cents into plastic packets (the one that u used to tapau 5%drinks+95%ice cubes tu)
and off I went to BSN
The kakak over the counter was free to think whatever she was thinking
Some of my 1 cents got rejected though
Must've been 1 ringgit setengah altogether kot
Then the total accepted coins (70% 1 cent and 30% 5 cent if am not mistaken) is RM21
2 hours non stop cheers for me
*stomps*
*clap*
*shout*
*star jump with pompom*
Imagine the rest of the cheers formation using your own imagination

I mean 21 ringgit!
Ok, 21 ringgit sounds so ordinary
but 21 ringgit from those lying-on-roadside-nobody-wants-me 1 cents and celah-katil-celah-loker 5 cents
that's my personal victory
To get 1 ringgit, u should have 100 pieces of 1 cents
U never know the satisfaction of it
1st is because you never do it
2nd is because, 1 cent is of no value nowadays
No bank would give you 21 ringgit nowadays even you have a 3l bucket full of it

To those who campaked your 1 cent that's picked up by me
to those who donate their 1 cents to me
To my abah who didn't make a clown out of me collecting 1 cent
Thank you very much from me
You give me a victorious memory for me to reminiscence upon
When I remember it like today, I still feel so good about it.

Image taken from here

Re-post : Bila Result SPM Keluar

p/s : Pardon the language


melalaklah, menangislah, ketawalah, senyumlah.
Puas-puas.
Sebelum fasa keserabutan bermula (khusus untuk yg merancang nk promote diri sendiri bagus kepada sponsor2 seantero Malaysia)

Zaman daku amik result SPM. Status diri: freshly baked (atau perkataan yg lebih enak, tanned gitu) from PLKN

So,
Nasihat dari orang yg pernah mempromosikan diri sendiri :
~ fotokopi segala sijil2 yg mengatakan kehebatan anda (sijil berhenti sekolah, sijil pengawas, sijil kuiz, sijil beranak dll.)
~ sebaiknya fotokopi mestilah lebih dari tiga set
~ kembali ke sekolah dan berilah pen kepada pengetua anda sebagai alat untuk beliau menandatangani salinan sijil2 anda yg 15 inci tebal itu
~ sesi fotografi. Ke kedai gambar dan tangkaplah gambar bersaiz passpot (lebih banyak keping gambar yg dicuci lebih bagus.Selain dari kegunaannya yg banyak utk borg2 permohonan, anda juga boleh mendapat diskaun harga gambar itu)
~ bacalah isu-isu semasa (ya saya tahu isu semasa di Malaysia agak membosankan sekarang). Kelak, anda akan disoal semasa temu duga. Kalau nak medic bacalah sisipan kesihatan akhbar2 di Malaysia. Boleh juga melayari internet.
~ belilah surat khabar. Kerana ada banyak iklan tentang biasiswa2 bg yg berminat (selain itu, di kemudian hari, surat khabar itu boleh digunakan utk membungkus nasi mahupun lapik semasa memotong bawang)
~ bagi seiapa yang mahu menjadi cikgu, anda perlulah peka tentang tarikh nombor pin mula dijual di BSN (Bank simpanan Nasional)
~ jika anda pasti tentang bidang yg diminati dan layak utk anda dan anda tahu agensi mana yang anda hendak minta bantuan kewangan, jangan berlengah lagi. Carilah maklumat tentang bidang yg anda mahu beserta latar belakang agensi pemberi duit itu (kalau nk org tlg kita, kita perlulah kenal org itu kn?kn?kn?)
~ mantapkanlah skil mempromosi diri sendiri dan tolonglah pastikan anda menggunakan tatabahasa yg betul dan nahu Inggeris yg boleh membuatkan penemuduga anda tidak tersenyum sinis terhadap kesalahan bahasa anda.

Oh untuk sesiapa yg masih tidak tahu status dirinya (read : masih tidak mempunyai cita2, masih tidak tahu bidang apa yg memberi kepuasan kpd diri sendiri/duit yg lumayan, mahupun ingin mengetahui kelayakan mrk berdasarkan keputusan SPM) anda sangatlah dialu-alukan utk berjumpa dgn kaunselor sekolah anda (walaupun ada di antara anda yg tidak pernah tahu wujudnya kaunselor di sekolah anda. Percayalah, manusia berjawatan kaunslor itu wujud di setiap sekolah bantuan kerajaan)

Sekian dari saya buat masa ini.
Selamat berjaya kpd anda.

p/s : ini adalah bdsrkn pengalaman sy yg lps (er, adalah hampir 2-3 tahun lps). jd, sy tidaklah maklum seandainya senario telah berubah dgn peredaran masa.

777 Erk!!!

Gomen ne aunty Naz,

I just have 7 folders, so I pick up the 7th pic in the 7th folder.

So, 'ere goes

This is the informal photo of my batch back in high school.

There should be 123 people altogether in this photo but 1 person missed the session.

I'm the most left in second line.

The venue is what we called padang puteri, tho the girls lebih prefer untuk exercise atas katil rather than go for games at this field

We were standing on large steps that usually used for spectators when there's match

It is at this field that I know I can be a keeper for my handball team.

From where we were standing, we get a whole view of Bukit Mertajam erect on its own sans any other bukit di kiri mahupun kanan.

And at the end of the field, there is a tasek kiut miut owned by our neighbour, Pusat Kokurikulum Pulau Pinang

It is the favourite spot for the boys to sneak out at night to buy nasi kandar and of course cigarette.

Allah knows what else they do, those boys!

Anyway, thanks to them, we get our supply of nasi kandar and the order was once so large that the mamak nasi kandar have to prepare another batch and we got to eat our nasi kandar at 3 in the morning.

Those days, when we were teens.

= 0

I shall tag nobody since most bloggers I know are rather busy nowadays, but thanks for tagging me aunty Naz.

I actually love <3>

Shedding Tears

I've watch the movie twice and twice the lacrimal glands continously shedding tears during the movie.

Moje favourite excerpt

Kalian semua adalah calon muslimah

Calon isteri untuk suami kalian tercinta

Dan calon ibu untuk anak-anak yang kalian sayangi

Syurga menurut janji Allah

Ada di bawah telapak kaki kita, perempuan

Tapi jangan lupa satu hal

Bahawa Allah juga memberikan manusia kebebasan

Mahu jadi apa pun kalian nanti

Pilihlah jalan Allah dengan rasa bebas, dan dengan hati yang ikhlas

Dengan itu Inshaallah, kita akan hidup dengan tenang dan tanpa rasa benci

Edit :

I've got few feedbacks regarding this, so I shall write my own review of the movie.

As for me, I'm uneasy with some of the scenes.

Maybe a bit too much for me as for the SX part.

And I don't like how the women is being on the infeior side in this movie.

But I really like the part where the new husband respect and love the wife

and how the mother resolves conflict and how at the end the brothers stood up for their only sister (I thought they don't give a damn about her)

So, my p/s is watch at your own risk ;p

2:254

(2:254) O Believers, spend of the wealth We have bestowed upon you *276 (in Our way) before the Day comes when there shall be no buying and no selling: when neither friendship nor intercession will be of any avail. Those, who adopt the way of disbelief are indeed the *277 wrongdoers. '

*276. This means spending in the way of God. The instruction given here is that those who have adopted the cause of the true faith should undertake financial sacrifices for its sake.
*277. Here the expression 'they who disbelieve' signifies either those who refused to obey God and held their property to be clearer than God's good pleasure, or those who did not believe in the Day of which they had been warned, or those who cherished the false i11usion that in the Hereafter they would somehow be able to secure their salvation and that their association with men devoted to God would stand them in good stead for they would intercede with God on their behalf.

2:254

Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Infakkanlah sebahagian dari rezeki yang telah kami berikan kepadamu sebelum datang hari ketika tidak ada lagi jual beli, tidak ada lagi persahabatan dan tidak ada lagi syafaat. Orang-orang kafir itulah orang yang zalim.

Sedihnya bila baca tafsir ayat ini.

I feel like I've been drifting way too far for years.

The then me bukanlah seorang yang berkira but now, I am seorang yang berkira, especially about money.

Padahal dulu, hidup sangat susah

Orang lain boleh own mcm2 but not me

Now, I can wish for something, kumpul duit sikit and get the thing

But, sentiasa reluctant to forgo few crowns even dgn kawan sendiri

Teringat zaman sekolah dulu, selalu tolak-menolak dgn Ili

That girl won't take duit lebih

and I don't want to keep the change

We both berebut buat amal kat sesama sendiri

I miss those moment

Does it give you the creep when He says sebelum sampainya hari tidak ada lagi jual beli

What are we doing now?

Riba merata-rata.

Kita selalu memikirkan untung di pihak kita, have we ever think about the other party, untungkah dia, rugikah dia?

Does it give us the satisfactory as long as kita untung and tak rugi

Bila berjual beli, have we ever think of mutual profit?

As for me, sometime, I think, wouldn't it benefit me alone if this bargain happen?

But still I keep that to myself, saying it's ok

But then, is it really ok?

Adillah dalam melakukan timbangan, jangan sekali-kali mengurangkan hak orang lain.

Kat sekolah dulu, Azie kot pernah cakap, Hizlan kata biar lebih jangan kurang. Or something like that.

I was amused at that time.

Sebab apa?

Because there were alot of businesses going on at school

Ada jual nasi lemak, ada jual roti hot dog, ada jual ais krim, ada koperasi

Sorry to say, but the ice cream price is incredulous for we know that it's of no brand ice cream but sold at brand price

He also said, pada hari yang tidak ada lagi persahabatan

I tried to compute this and it goes down to me an Ili

Mungkin we both saling tolak hang aku, both don't want the money

atas dasar persahabatan

she knows my situation and I on the other hand don't want to give in to my situation

It was sweet

I draw my conclusion

Bila kita bersahabat, kita tidak akan berkira sesama sendiri

Sama-sama saling berebut untuk buat charity kat yang lain

Bukan limit kat duit sahaja

She went to help an old lady crossing the street

She doesn't mind to offer herself to do something

I lived with this girl for 5 years

And you would understand how dissapointed I feel when nobody move a finger when I say p sat tanya orang tu direction with a please/tolong in the beginning of the sentence

Dulu, people want to carry my loads now people expect me to carry loads, sometimes their loads

I remember how everyone want to send me back

Syafiqah, Syikin, Kak Pah, Nurul, Fasihah, Paan

I remember how Egy sangat nak hosted me when I need to go to KL for BNM

I'm sorry for them for me turning this way, to refuse to carry others loads even when mine is as light as feather

Is this right?

I keep asking myself.

Sometime, I want to be myself, me who is willing to share everything with everybody

But most of the time now, I keep reminding myself, people don't learn their lesson if I keep helping them.

But upon reading 2:254, I'm afraid

When there'll be no more buying and selling,

where there'll be no more friendship

and tiada lagi syafaat

So, now

is the time to do charity and do the things I used to do before

sentiasa cukupkan hak kita terhadap orang lain,

sentiasa menghulur bantuan bukan beban

sentiasa beselawat

U may ask, would they cherish this and this

Well, I'm not sure if they do or not

But don't make it something important whether they cherish it or not

The important thing should be that Allah is happy with you

I remember Kak Lene pernah cakap, Allah sangat pemurah

Antara jual beli kita dengan Allah

We are the one yang untung

Sebab He is the one who provides us with everything

And when we make something good dengan modal yang Allah beri kat kita, akaun pahala kita yang bertambah

Allah bukanlah di pihak yang rugi mahupun untung

U'll never find a deal as excellent as a deal with Allah.

Polygamy

We were discussing about rodina (in english means family).

It's like in kindergarten.

Like, we find the member of the family - in-laws, maid, bachelor, niece etc.

It's fun to feel like in kindergarten again (as long as u don't overdo it ;-))

Not everyone my age gets to do this sort of thing.

Then, the word polygamy came out.

So, Mgr Huskova asked us whether polygamy is practised in Malaysia.

So, we told her that it is accepted but not all men practise it

And in Islam, it's accepted but not encouraged yet that is what men like to do. (Well, there are men who stay true to only one woman)

Patrick added that it's not practised by Christians.

Others seemed to be interested in that matter.

So, it makes my work to explain it to them easier.

It surprised them somehow that we can talk about it without being angry of the polygamy thing.

So, I just popped in a statement - at least it's better than keeping a mistress

And Mgr Huskova said it's what they practise over here

And she asked us what would we feel if we are the 2nd wife.

I was quite amused.

Usually people from monogamy community ask how would it feel to have ur husband married again.

I just said, things happen.

But now, I think, I have another question.

So, how would it feel for you to be a mistress?

Of course the q is not for Mgr Huskova =p

Well, I'm just thinking about this matter.

Things happen really is an honest answer from me.

Because truthfully, I don't really like the idea to share my husband with someone else.

But when I think of my future life, inshallah which will involve loads of time in the hospital and tired me at home, I'm not sure if I'm going to be a good homemaker

Not doing justice to my family

So, am I in a position to oppose polygamy?

Do It Or Leave It

Gambar tiada kaitan

I'm tired with sikap few people that want something but don't want to work for it.

Instead leaning on other to get what they want.

Please, learn and grow up.

Berlin 2010

Since I have 2 weeks of holiday and it doesn't worth it to go back home.

I decided to dump my hatred of winter travelling and went to Berlin.

It was quite a sudden trip.

My mom would label it as 'nak berak baru nak korek lubang'

With hostel already booked and itinerary nicely laid out, we went to buy the train ticket the day before we want to depart

The price skyrocketed to the Pluto (ok, hyperbola di sini)

Enough with the hassle before departure, I was at Berlin from Monday to Thursday.

When U are living in Bohemia, getting into Germany feels like you step out from the early 90's straight to millennium.

Someone said, u can even look at the leaves to know if u are already in Germany (of course there's no leaves at the time of my visit)

Berlin is awesome.

It feels like Penang slightly upgraded.

We took the free tour, which literally is a walking trip to nowhere.

We walked, then stop at random places where we can see Berlin attractions (from afar ok), then listen to the guide and there's no space to take picture or trying to compute every info that's being said.

And at the end of the tour, all feet were numb.

Bradenburg Gate is the highlight for me.

It was beautiful at night (never anything would rival the beauty of starry night sky of course)

We went to Ritter Sport chocolate shop. The shop itself is of average size but u won't believe how many people are there. And u get to pick any flavor for your chocolate, they even have anises and marshmallows.

p/s : dentist would probably hate this though

We didn't have much time to wander to the main attractions.

Instead we went to LEGOLAND and LOXX Am Miniature World

LEGOLAND is worth the money.

Upon entering the miniature world, at first glance, u'll think that U have made another tourist faux and waste your money on the ticket.

But when I took a closer look at the models, I had my friends waited for me to finish inspecting the whole assembled models.

Since the place is not completely complete, I get to see their workshop.

It was amazing.

The models sold are of standard price.

U can get 1 train coach at min 20 euro I think.

All the time in there, I would say to myself, " It would be good if my two brothers are here too"

Their conversation about transportation and buildings and cranes is always in excited and full of passion tone.

We also went up Fernsehtrum and since the glass is not so clear so we hardly make out any tourist attraction from the above.

Since 7euro is quite a huge amount for such a view, we shared stories whilst sitting above the ground

~ how would you feel being chased by an ostrich?ask my friend. she had such a moment with an ostrich while voluntering at the zoo

~ isn't it romantic to take a walk hand in hand in the morning with an orang utan. the same person did it too

~ what do u do when not-so-easy-to-get dadih coop that u just bought plonk out of your grasp and lying on the floor?do u kick the half-meter-in-diameter bougainvilla vase?my friend did it

and much more interesting stories

U'll always bump into the friendship bear

And currywurst is literally sold everywhere and the seller WEAR the pseudokitchen

Berlin is a new city and since 90% of the city was destroyed during WW2, most of the buldings are contemporary and the thing I like about Berlin that it seems to be an European city with minute mount of naked statues.