Raw Honesty

People who know me know that I am pretty much straightforward to the point of cruelty. But I guess they gonna change the term cruelty once they deal with the Germans.

I guess I am a straigthforward person but Germans prove me wrong. If they have problem with you, they will take it out in your face, no feeling spared. If you think my words hit you like a truck or bullet, believe me, Germans' are like torpedo. If you luckily survive my honesty, you'll not survive German's.

Yesterday after morning meeting I asked the doctor if I can go and watch surgery and she gave me her green light so I went straight into operation room after getting the permission. I came back 4-5 hours later and excitedly told my fellow intern how interesting the surgery was. What follows is totally unexpected. I was practically speechless, which is a rare sight. He straightforward told me that 

~I should do the blood taking with him

~there's a lot of patient and he is going around doing everything, blood taking and ECG by himself and he still haven't finished things

~if my name is on the operation schedule, it's alright to go straight to OT but if not, I should do the work first

~he also wants to watch the surgery but because I left him with all the works..

he kept telling me those in the span of 5 minutes and he really made sure that I get it that I am totally at fault and he is pissed off. In one tone. 

And to clarify things

~on Friday, I, who only started taking patient blood independently since Tuesday did all the blood takings except for 1-2 difficult patients and did all the ECGs

~on Monday, which is the day of the event, a new intern came. And when I was finishing the blood taking, she was doing cannulation on one patient that's in our ward. Question? Why didn't she help him?

Conclusion, it was partially my fault and I was not onsiderate. Come to think of it, I didn't even think about it.

And let us look at what happened today

Yours truly name came up to scrub in for surgery. It's written in the operation schedule. And I believe no other German has a set of name like mine. So, I went to fetch the compression sock because I don't want to make a scene in the OT and change. I walked into the new intern and second surgeon as I enter the scrub room and said hi. No conversation ensued and I proceed to scrub in as they went into OR. The head surgeon came into the scrub room and spoke German to me. I can make out "Which operation are you in?". He actually caught up that there are 2 interns. I entered the OT and found out the intern is already in the surgical gown and was told by the second surgeon that it's not possible to have 4 people and I can watch from the anesthesiology side if I want. I was totally upset and flaming but logic win when you don't want it to. Logic is the intern is already gowned and it's not appropriate to kick her aside. But thinking back, it's not logic, it's just manners. I went to the anesthesio side and took my time to gain my composure. When I knew that there's no way I can be in the OT without seething at those 2, I went back into the scrub room and telling the head surgeon about the situation and how it's better to help my fellow intern to do blood takings and stuff. He told me that I have to discussed things but my head is telling me that it's not appropriate to kick someone who already scrub in so I say I'd just go.

Things went downhill from that point on. I had difficulty taking blood from 2 patients. Don't even get to see cannulation so that I can do it on my own afterwards. All the patients who needed blood taking and ECG are  somewhere else but in the ward. Doctors are busy with their stuff to mind me. Can't access the internet. Can't even see the operation schedule. And in the middle of taking blood together, a call for intern to help in OT came and my fellow intern just decided that he's going because he didn't get to see operation yesterday~. To think that I was being partially considerate of him when I decided to leave the OT earlier on. So I ended up with holy Quran, from which I extracted few Arabic words to learn and found few verses which I really like. Especially th one about Yahya bin Zakaria, who's whole life was blessed and was a cherished servant of Allah. I then went back and forth until 2pm, by which I can't take it anymore since no doctor is around. I went to the nurse and inform her that I'm going home. 

My day today.

To make up for crappy day, I met with the girls and comb part of the old town. You should know how happy I am shopping for mascara with Emina. Since my make up knowledge is abysmal, Emina taught me how to apply mascara and how to look for a full mascara tube. We came out of the store, both sporting thicker and longer lashes. Emina also told me that I should just wrestle my spot if someon take it, reminding me about the German attitude. That is if they have issue with you they'll say it in your face and you should also do the same. So now I am considering to see the intern, tell her that she took my spot and I expect her to pay that back with her spot. German or Malaysian way?That will remain to be seen.